Saturday, December 12, 2009

the past day or so. . . .

Disgusting! Ok the past week I swear I have seen this hideous duo twice, when I say duo I mean the turtleneck with the blazer. Last night I was at Chillis for a work party and we ended up waiting a whopping full hour. To keep myself from drop kicking the staff at Chillis I decided to people watch and critique their style, in other words "what I do best". While waiting, a guy about my age walked right past me wearing something extremely similar to what is seen above. Good thing this was before my meal or my dinner would have been on the floor. Luckily I have the best gag reflexes on planet earth to prevent me upchucking the delicious carrot cake cupcake I had earlier. For all those men who happen to read my blog which is probably only my Dad, please do not ever go out in public like this. Women, please never allow your significant other or any man for that matter wear something so appalling out, seriously, seriously. As my friend Ashley said, "if you wear something like that you are just asking to be called a douche bag." Oh and for some reason I just think of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite when I see this duo, not a good thing.

Like I mentioned before, we had a work Christmas party last night. We have the tradition at The Fargo to have the ol White Elephant gift exchange. I spent approximately 2 months devising up a plan to having the funniest/most creative/unwanted gift at the party. After weeks of fasting and deep meditation the greatest idea dawned on me. As many of you know I spent the summer in AZ with great company, namely DJ, Bethany (for 2 weeks), Janae, and Devo. For the last outing before returning to UT we completed my very last life long desire to take classy photos at Wal Mart. Devo and I practiced what we had learned best from years of watching "What Not To Wear" and selected the best sweaters for the photo shoot. Below you can see the family photo with our awe-inspiring sweaters. (I know the photo was previously posted)
Well from the infamous photo shoot the most divine photo that has ever been taken was in fact taken at Wal Mart. (SEE BELOW)
I know it's beautiful right? My Mom commented on this same photo on facebook and asked, and I quote "Where did I go wrong?" I really don't understand her self doubting. This photo is so genius, the finishing touches, i.e. the frosted edge, by the lovely lady at Wal Mart are exquisite to say the least. I don't know why my Mother would not take any pride in this. Back to the story. Well the idea came to me that I should give away a framed 8x10 photo of me and DJ. Not only did I give away one from my behalf but my guest at the party also generously sacrificed her own gift idea to give the best gift ever away. Well two lucky individuals received their gifts, joy radiated from their faces, it warmed my heart to know someone else was going to find such a treat every time they would admire the masterpiece. A Few minutes passed by and I felt so disheartened as my co-worker returned the gift bag with the picture inside. Luckily my dear pal Robin was anxious to take it off my hands. I am glad someone will appreciate my gift. She informed me that she wants to hang it from her ceiling so she can admire such a work every night before going to bed.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Sometimes I feel my life is this:

Ok i've lived in Provo for 2 years now. Initially it was a shock. If I wasn't white or Mormon I would feel extremely uncomfortable living in Provo. Provo is 88.52% white and 98% Mormon. Once the shock wears off, you just get used to it and it becomes normal.

So today I thought I was going to have a heart attack, literally. So to save money on gas I decided to take the trax to campus in Salt Lake. I've done this a few times and I guess i've always gotten lucky and ended up on the right train. And for the most part on this particular route that I've taken has always been fairly empty. So the train I took today turned onto a street that was not part of the normal route I had taken. So I quickly decided to get off at the next exit. Once exiting the train, I almost panicked, I thought I was in the heart of the ghetto. I was the only clean looking person around (and that's not saying much), and maybe I'm crazy but I swear everyone was staring me down. I instinctively put my hand in my coat pocket that had my ipod and the other hand on top of my school bag that had my laptop in it. When ever I saw a shadow move I looked nonchalantly to see what it was. I tried not to appear like the paranoid white guy that got off on the wrong stop, but I think it was obvious. Ok its not like I've never been in the ghetto, shoot I lived in the ghetto in Panama and there were some areas where I'd go to sleep listening to gun shots. Well it seemed like the train took forever to get to our stop. Well it arrived and the train was packed. I got on and the first thing I heard was the F bomb, that woke me up alright. So I sat across the aisle from a white trash family. The boy kept on saying he hated his mom. His mom kept on telling him there was no Santa Claus and he wasn't getting any presents. I wanted to slap the wench, but I was afraid she would shank me. Well I survived!

Overall this was a good wake up call. Provo is not the real world, granted I like the place (sometimes), but I think sometimes I forget how cool and diverse people are. I also had to remind myself that just because they obviously came from different socio economic statuses it doesn't mean they are criminals for crying out loud!